


Things You Said

by rboudreau



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Big Brother RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 12,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3571565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rboudreau/pseuds/rboudreau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles based on a series of prompts from Tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things You Said When You Were Crying

**Author's Note:**

> These will all be pretty short, but they're all mini-fic prompts I got on Tumblr, so I figured I'd put them all here. Some will be sad, others will be fluffy.

“Zach,” Frankie said. “I just…It’s better this way.”

Zach scoffed, wiping the tears off his face. “Better for who? For you?”

Frankie ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily. “Zach, we can’t keep doing this. All this back and forth all the time, it’s ruining everything. I can’t just have you part time.”

“So you just want to break up with me? That’s it? No more trying, no more giving me time, nothing? You think that’s better?” His eyes were burning with tears, but he was trying not to let them keep falling.

He stepped forward, grabbing Zach’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “I’d rather break up and try to keep our friendship than to keep going back and forth and fighting all the time.” 

Zach shook his head, stepping back. “You don’t love me anymore, it’s fine, I get it,” he croaked. The tears forced their way out of his eyes. He tried taking a deep breath to calm himself down, but it was just making it worse.

“That’s not it Zach. Of course I still love you, but—”

“Don’t lie to me,” he interrupted. “Just admit you don’t love me anymore. Everything would’ve been so much easier if I was gay, but I’m not, and so you don’t want me anymore. I just keep fucking everything up for you and hurting you, just—” he broke off, tears falling harder as Frankie wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly and burying his face in Zach’s neck.

He felt Frankie’s tears hitting his neck and he could barely breathe with how tight his chest felt like it was squeezing. They stood like that for a few minutes, Frankie’s hands holding onto handfuls of Zach’s hair and Zach’s arms wrapped loosely around Frankie’s waist.

“That’s not true, baby,” Frankie finally said. “I’m so in love with you it hurts. This is breaking my heart. But I have to let you go, or we’re going to end up hating each other. It’s not your fault.”

He kept repeating it over and over into Zach’s ear, but it did nothing to alleviate the feeling of Zach’s whole world falling apart around him.


	2. Things You Said When You Thought I Was Asleep

January 16th had been the biggest whirlwind that either one could remember. 

Zach had gone to bed the night before, freshly moved in to AJ’s apartment, trying to convince himself that he didn’t care that Frankie hadn’t said anything all day about his move. He’d tossed and turned before finally falling asleep. When he’d woken up the next morning, it was to dozens of notifications that Frankie had tweeted a few hours before and people texting him to tell him to wake up. He’d been confused, but he read through Frankie’s tweets and it had all made more sense.

By the end of the night, Zach found himself skipping beside Frankie on the sidewalk with AJ in tow, feeling like he was floating on air. There was a permanent smile on his face, and the day before seemed like an entirely different life, barely a memory. They split from AJ when they got to Frankie’s apartment, and there was barely three inches of space between them. Frankie held Zach’s hand in his and smiled at him all the way up the elevator. 

Once in his apartment, there’d been a rush of kissing and touching and undressing as they made their way to Frankie’s room. There wasn’t a single second that Frankie’s hands weren’t on him or where his lips weren’t brushing against more of Zach’s skin. And when he’d finally stretched Zach open and pushed inside him, Zach couldn’t even remember why he hadn’t been here with Frankie for months.

Frankie had fallen asleep shortly after they cleaned up, lulled by Zach’s fingers trailing up and down his back just like they used to. He wasn’t sure how long he was out, but when he woke up, Zach was still awake, tracing patterns into Frankie’s skin. He kept his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of having Zach next to him again. He was so absorbed in his happy thoughts that he almost jumped when Zach started whispering beside him.

“How did I go this long without being with you? I’m such an idiot.” He felt Zach’s forehead press against his shoulder, followed by the soft press of his lips in the same spot. “I missed you,” he mumbled.

Zach had been repeating that to Frankie ever since he showed up at the stagedoor with Lauren and AJ to surprise him. It had made him feel happier than he’d been in weeks, ever since they fought back in December.

Zach’s fingers brushed up his spine, across his shoulders, and down his arm, making goosebumps appear across his skin.

“When I saw your tweets this morning…and then when I saw my name…God, I didn’t want to lose you.” 

Frankie wanted to reach out and pull Zach closer, tell him that he was right there and that he wasn’t going to lose him. But he wanted to hear what else Zach had to say while he thought Frankie was asleep. 

“I don’t know what that fucking loser did to hurt you last night. But I’m kinda glad, if I’m gonna be honest, because it gave me another chance to make things right with you.” He kissed Frankie’s shoulder again, lingering for a moment. “Everything’s going to be perfect this time, babe. I promise. I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna stay right here in New York for as long as you want me…I really hope you want me. I don’t want to be without you anymore.”

Frankie was practically itching with the need to touch Zach, but that was all fixed when Zach wrapped himself around Frankie, cuddling into him as close as possible and burying his face in Frankie’s neck. Zach kissed his neck gently, squeezing Frankie close.

“I’m so fucking in love with you it isn’t even funny. I don’t know what to do without you. It’s like I lose a part of myself when you’re not with me.” Zach scooted down to rest his head on Frankie’s chest, pressing a kiss over his heart. “I thought I was gonna lose you for good…I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. I’d be fucked.”

A few minutes of silence had almost convinced Frankie that Zach had fallen asleep, but his hand was still trailing lazily up and down his body. It started getting slower and slower until Zach finally stopped altogether. He nuzzled into Frankie’s chest, pulling the blanket over them a little more and sighing softly in relaxation.

“You’re my lobster,” Zach mumbled sleepily. “My soulmate. My fucking isotope.” He yawned. “I love you, Frankie.”


	3. Things You Said That Made Me Feel Like Shit

“You’re blaming _me_ for this? Are you kidding me right now?”

Frankie groaned, and Zach watched as he ran his hand through his hair via FaceTime. “Zach, you can’t just go flipping out on the fans.”

Zach scoffed, rolling his eyes. “ _What_ fans? You mean _your_ fans? The ones that fucking harass me all the time? Or the zankie fans that only give a fuck about me if I’m sucking your dick?”

“That’s not fair--”

“No, it’s _not_ fair. I breathe the wrong way and I’ve got hundreds of people attacking me for anything they can think of, but you could probably kill someone and they’d all be defending you and saying how you’re a fucking angel or something.”

Frankie clenched his jaw, counting in his head for a few seconds so he didn’t raise his voice. “I don’t know what you expect me to do. I can’t control what everyone says to you on the internet, Zach.”

Zach pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes for a second, shaking his head. “And why would you want to, right? You’re getting the better end of the deal here. You got to break things off with me and start moving on with your life with people cheering you on. You don’t have to deal with people tweeting you about me all the time, or having all these ‘fans’ tweeting and stalking anyone you go on a date with and telling them how in love you and me were. I have to sit here and get all these accounts accusing me of being homophobic or queerbaiting or hurting you just because I’m trying to move on with my life and date other people. You’re the one that dumped me, but apparently it’s still all my fault. But why the fuck would you care about any of that, right?”

Frankie frowned slightly. “I do care, Zach. But there’s nothing I can do. Haters come with the territory of having been on TV. And the fans wanted us to be together, of course they’re going to be upset that we’re not.”

“So that just gives them the right to harass me and any girl I want to date? You get thrown a fucking party whenever you’re hanging all over some new guy, but I can’t be within 10 miles of a girl without getting thrown on the fucking stake. It’s fucking bullshit. And I’m not apologizing for what I said on ZRL. If they don’t like it, they can get the fuck out. I’m done. I don’t give a fuck anymore.” He gave a shaky laugh and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Whatever. I guess that’s what I get for falling in love with you in the first place. Nothing good ever comes out of loving someone. I learned my lesson. Thanks for that.”

Frankie stared at the screen as Zach abruptly ended the call, and Frankie couldn’t even remember the last time he had felt as shitty as he did in that moment.


	4. Things You Said With Too Many Miles Between Us

“I think I made a mistake.”

Zach rubbed the sleep from his eyes and squinted at his phone, reading the name on the screen. “Frankie? Dude, it’s like 4 in the morning.”

Frankie winced. “I know. I...nevermind. I’ll let you go to sleep.”

“No,” Zach said quickly, sitting up in his bed. “It’s fine. I’m up. Just talk.” He reached his hand out to pet Tiger beside him.

He closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. “I messed up.”

Zach furrowed his eyebrows together. “What’re you talking about? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine. Just...shit. I miss you,” he whispered. “I fucked up so bad.”

Zach ran his hand through his hair, sighing quietly. “Frankie.”

“I know, okay? I’m an idiot. Breaking up with you was so fucking stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Zach sat quietly for a moment, running his fingers through Tiger’s fur. “You were thinking that I make a pretty shitty boyfriend and it’d be better for you to end things before I inevitably did something to screw it all up and hurt you for the hundredth time.”

Frankie shook his head even though Zach couldn’t see him. “You’re not a shitty boyfriend. God, everything was perfect. We were perfect. And then I ruined it all, shit. I just miss you so much. I can’t...”

“Babe...you’re over a thousand miles away.”

“I know.”

“It’s not fair to tell me all this in the middle of the night when you’re all the way in New York.”

“I know,” Frankie repeated. “I’m sorry.”

Zach groaned, pulling a pillow over his face. “It’s been two months, Frankie. Why can’t I get you out of my head? Why do I still care so much?”

“Because you’re in love with me.”

“Yea.” He brought the pillow away from his face, hugging it to his chest with one hand while still holding his phone to his ear with the other. “So what now?”

He heard Frankie sigh. “I’ll be in Florida next week for Ari’s shows. Come? We can talk, figure things out...I can blow you backstage.”

Zach barked out a laugh, startling Tiger. “Well how can I pass that up?” He cuddled into his pillow and blanket, closing his eyes. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too. We’ll fix it. _I’ll_ fix it. I promise.”

“Until next week, then?”

“Yea. Next week.”


	5. Things You Said At 1 AM

Zach trailed his fingers across Frankie’s bare back, his mind blank in the silence of the room. It was their second summer being in the Big Brother house, this time made up of both new and old House Guests. After a particularly rough break up, they had gotten back together just a couple of months prior to entering the house. 

Now it was nearing one in the morning, and they were locked away in the HOH room, cuddled together beneath the blankets. Zach admired the way Frankie’s lips ended up pushing out as he rested on an overly fluffy pillow. He rested his forehead against the back of Frankie’s shoulder, closing his eyes and taking in the moment, his hand still tracing random patterns along Frankie’s skin. 

He pressed his lips against Frankie’s arm, kissing him gently. “I’m gonna be in love with you for the rest of my life,” he mumbled.

Frankie sighed happily, scooting closer to Zach and tossing an arm across his waist. “I hope so.”

Zach positioned himself on his side, facing Frankie, and tugged him until he was facing Zach as well. Frankie leaned forward, pressing a kiss into Zach’s neck and tangling their legs together. Zach giggled, holding Frankie close to him. “God, I can’t wait to marry you.”

Frankie smiled brightly. “You have to ask first.”

Zach nodded. “I will. After we win and get out of this house and go back home. I’m going to buy you a ring, and I’m going to get down on one knee, and I’m going to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Frankie made a noise of content, pressing himself closer to Zach. “And I’m going to say yes.” He met Zach’s lips in a slow kiss, neither one caring about the cameras trained on them in the darkness. “And then I’m going to...” he trailed off, sliding his hand down beneath the blanket to grab Zach’s ass, making him giggle.

“For sure.” Zach nudged Frankie onto his back so he could rest his head on Frankie’s chest. Frankie ran his hand through Zach’s hair, kissing his forehead and holding onto him.

“Just a couple more months,” Frankie whispered. “Then you’re all mine.”

Zach grinned, kissing Frankie’s chest. “I’m already all yours.” He yawned, pulling the blankets more comfortably over them. “You’re stuck with me for life, babe.”

He smiled amusedly, tilting Zach’s chin up to kiss him once more. “Good.”


	6. Things You Said After It Was Over

“We’re best friends. Nothings changes.”

“We’re fine. We’re great friends.”

Zach felt like a broken record, telling his fans things he’d been repeating to himself and to everyone around him ever since he and Frankie ended things the month before. He’d lost count of how many times he’d put on a smile for show and recited the same things over and over again.

The worst part was the twist in his gut every time he said it. It didn’t feel like the truth at all. The way they’d ended things, there had been no mention of them staying friends. Zach had felt bitter and destructive and couldn’t process any of it, and he’d packed up his stuff and moved back home to Florida as quickly as possible. 

He hadn’t spoken to Frankie in over two weeks. He hadn’t seen his face in more than Instagram posts in longer than that. He tried ignoring it, going on Twitter and Instagram as little as possible since he’d been back home. He even met someone on Tinder in an attempt to stop thinking about the night Frankie had told him he thought they should stop seeing each other. She’d been nice--nicer than she should have been after having fans and haters alike harassing her and spamming her with picture of him and Frankie just because she had hung out with him. But as soon as she headed back home at the end of her spring break, he was once again lacking in distractions, and was masochistic enough to keep reading all the hate coming his way.

His decision to bring ZRL back was partly to keep himself busy and partly because he didn’t want to hold back anymore on what he was thinking about everything people were saying to him and about him online. He’d addressed it within five minutes of the stream, and even though he wanted to piss off as many people as possible, even though he could have told them that he and Frankie weren’t even friends anymore and to just get over it and move on, he couldn’t make himself say it. 

No matter how bad things were with Frankie, he didn’t want to believe that their friendship was over. He _couldn’t_ believe their friendship was over. They’ve had rough patches before, and they always came back to each other. Zach had to believe it would happen again. Frankie was too important to him to not have him in his life at all.

So for now he’d just keep repeating that he and Frankie were still best friends and that they were fine in the hopes that they would be again soon.


	7. Things You Said That I Wish You Hadn't

“I’m going back to Florida.”

Frankie paused, hoping he hadn’t heard Zach correctly. When he didn’t correct himself, he forced himself to look impassive, like those words didn’t mean what he thought they meant.

“Oh. That’s...when?”

Zach cleared his throat. “Wednesday.”

He frowned slightly. “The day I walk in Fashion Week.”

Zach shrugged, getting up and busying himself with straightening papers on the desk in his room. “Not like I was invited anyway.”

Frankie stared at his back. “So that’s it, then?”

He sighed, sitting heavily in the chair beside his desk and turning it to face Frankie. “What do you want me to say? There’s nothing for me to do here. I miss Florida. I miss Peyton. I miss Tiger. I miss being outside in the sun and not freezing to death. I miss golfing. The whole point of me moving up here was to be with you, and you’re never here. Besides, AJ’s grandparents will be moving back up here soon. It’s time for me to go.”

Frankie nodded slowly, not meeting Zach’s gaze. “Alright.” He got up off Zach’s bed and turned to head towards the door when Zach grabbed his hand. He shuffled back around to face him.

Zach squeezed his hand. “I still love you. This just...this isn’t my home. I don’t belong here.”

Frankie wanted to argue and give him a thousand reasons why he belonged in New York. Instead he dropped Zach’s hand and cupped his face, leaning down to where Zach was still sitting in the chair to press their lips together. They both felt the silent ‘goodbye’ being said as they kissed, making every brush of their lips more painful than the last.

He pulled away, leaning his forehead against Zach’s with his eyes closed. “I just want you to be happy,” he whispered. “I’ll love you forever.”

He gave him one last short kiss and then straightened up and turned around, heading quickly out of the room and out of Zach and AJ’s apartment.


	8. Things You Said That I Wasn't Meant To Hear

“Alright, yea, I can meet you in like twenty minutes. No, don’t tell anyone else. Because, the more people that know, the more chances it has to getting back to Frankie, and that obviously can’t happen, so. Okay. I love you too. See you soon.”

He ended the call, tossing his phone on the bed and turning around to leave the room. He stopped short, seeing Frankie standing in the doorway. His eyes widened momentarily before he quickly schooled his features.

“Hey babe. What are you doing home so early?”

Frankie kept his eyes on Zach’s phone laying on the bed. “Who was that?”

Zach shoved his hands in his pockets and gave him an innocent smile. “What, on the phone? No one. How was spin class?”

“So you’re secretly meeting no one in 20 minutes?”

Zach tensed. “Jesus, how long were you standing there?”

“Long enough, apparently.” He could practically see the fire blazing in Frankie’s eyes as he walked into the room and dropped his workout bag by the closet. “Who the fuck are you meeting and why do you have to keep it from me?”

“Would you relax? Jeez, I’m just...I’m just meeting up with Ari, okay?”

Frankie gave him a doubtful look. “That’s funny, because I was going to get lunch with her after spin class but she said she had meetings all afternoon. Do you want to try again?”

He squinted his eyes at Frankie, crossing his arms over his chest. “What are you accusing me of?”

“Well you’re obviously not meeting up with my sister, because if you were, you wouldn’t have told her not to tell anyone for fear of me finding out. So who are you meeting? Are you cheating on me?”

Zach’s jaw dropped open a little. “Wow.” He walked past Frankie, exiting the room and entering the living room. He heard Frankie following him and shook his head as he filled Tiger’s bowl with food. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”

“Well what am I supposed to think, Zach? I come home, you’re talking to someone on the phone about meeting up with them and keeping it from me and telling them you love them, then you lie about who you were talking to--”

“I didn’t lie to you,” he insisted.

Frankie threw his arms up in exasperation. “There you go again. Zach, Ariana told me not even a half hour ago that she has meetings this afternoon.”

“Great. You’re looking at her one o’clock. Can you stop interrogating me now?” He passed Frankie again, heading back to the room to grab his cell phone off the bed and his keys off the nightstand.

“Why would my sister lie to me about hanging out with you?”

“Because I asked her to.” He headed back through the apartment towards the door.

Frankie huffed. “Why would you--”

“Fuck, Frankie, stop!” He turned around to face him, leaning heavily against the door. “I am not cheating on you. I have no desire to cheat on you. And I really hate that that was the first thought in your head. I asked Ari not to tell you she was meeting up with me. And now I have to go.”

“Why did you tell her to lie to me?” 

Zach sighed. “Please don’t ask me that.”

He frowned. “Fine. I’m staying at Lauren’s tonight, then.” He headed towards the bedroom and Zach groaned loudly.

“Jesus, stop. Don’t stay at Lauren’s, come on, Frankie. You’re making a big deal out of this for no reason.”

He spun back around angrily. “You’re lying to me! And supposedly so is my sister! But you won’t even tell me why!”

“Fucking--She’s helping me pick out an engagement ring, okay? You were supposed to be at spin class for another hour, and it’s the only time you’re out of the house all week, so we thought this would be a good time for her to help me pick out a ring so I can ask you to marry me. There! Are you happy now? Surprise fucking ruined.”

Frankie stared at him wide eyed and open mouthed. “You...” He ran his hand through his hair. “Wow. I’m an asshole.”

He sighed, stepping away from the door. “No you’re not. I’m sorry, I just got caught off guard by you being home already and I got all defensive. I’m not good at keeping things from you. That’s why I was counting on you being at your class.”

Frankie pouted, wrapping his arms around Zach’s waist. “We were taking a 20 minute break before the last hour and I just decided to skip the rest so I could come home and take a bath with you.”

Zach leaned his head down onto Frankie’s shoulder. He sighed as Frankie ran his fingers through Zach’s hair, closing his eyes. “I had it all planned out. It was going to be perfect. You weren’t supposed to hear me on the phone.”

Frankie tugged on his ear gently. “It can still be perfect.”

“It was supposed to be a _surprise_ ,” he stressed.

Frankie pressed a kiss into his neck. “I’ll act surprised.”

“I didn’t want you to act,” he protested. “I...fuck.”

He lifted Zach’s face, peppering kisses along his skin until he finally reached his lips, kissing him firmly. “As soon as I see the ring, I’m going to start crying. No acting needed.”

“The thought’s that depressing, huh?” Zach joked weakly. Frankie grinned at him, pressing their foreheads together.

“We’re getting engaged,” he whispered.

Zach smiled brightly, nodding. “Yea. We are.”


	9. Things You Said When We Were The Happiest We Ever Were

**@FrankieJGrande**  
_Zach surprised me at the stage door tonight and it was the happiest I’ve been in a long while. #zankieaf instagram.com/p/x8SvNositA/_  


“I’m so glad you came tonight. It was the best surprise and you made my night,” Frankie had whispered into Zach’s ear as they posed with a fan for a picture. Zach had smiled widely in return, wrapping his arm tighter around Frankie’s shoulders.

Now they were walking down the street away from the theatre with AJ in tow, Zach skipping and jumping periodically beside Frankie, full of energy. Frankie giggled at him, bounding around like a puppy. Eventually he scanned the area around them, trying to see if any fans were following them. When he didn’t see any, he reached over to grab Zach’s hand, lacing their fingers together and tugging him into his side.

Zach smiled goofily at him, squeezing his hand. “You didn’t have to check for fans, you know. I don’t care who sees us holding hands.”

Frankie playfully rolled his eyes. “You’re on an adrenaline rush. You won’t be saying that once you’ve calmed down and the excitement has worn off.”

“Yes I will,” Zach insisted. “Because I’m fucking happy and I’m here and you’re here and I love you, and I’m not hiding that anymore.”

Frankie grinned, shaking his head. “Alright. We’ll see.”

“You don’t believe me. AJ, he doesn’t believe me!” Zach complained. AJ rolled his eyes and kept walking in quiet amusement. “I’m serious. I don’t care who knows anymore. I love you, Frankie. Excuse me, people of New York, I am in love with Frankie Grande!” he shouted into the streets.

Frankie laughed and covered Zach’s mouth with his free hand. People gave them strange looks as they walked by and Zach shrugged off Frankie’s hand.  


“Frankie, I’m serious. I love you. And after this last month of being without you, I don’t want to hide it anymore. I’m so fucking happy to have you back and to have you in my arms again. Don’t you feel the same?”

He tried and failed to hold back a smile, pulling Zach into him so they were pressed chest to chest on the sidewalk. “Of course I do. I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I missed you like crazy.”

“I missed you too,” Zach said quietly, leaning their foreheads together. “This is the best day I’ve had in ages. I just wanna go back to your place and cuddle with you and kiss you all night.”

“Yea?” Zach nodded. He whined a little, holding Zach tightly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” He leaned in, kissing Frankie right in the middle of the sidewalk, his hands cupping Frankie’s face.

AJ laughed, shaking his head. “Alright, I’m going back to my apartment before you two get arrested for public indecency. See you tomorrow.”

Frankie smiled, breaking the kiss. “Wait!” He released himself from Zach’s grasp and hugged AJ. “Thank you for tonight. I love you for this.”

“Well I wasn’t gonna deal with Zach moping all night,” he said jokingly.

Zach flipped him off. “Alright, give me my boyfriend back. Thanks.” He tugged Frankie back into his arms. He said goodbye to AJ and returned his attention back to Frankie, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

“You called me your boyfriend,” Frankie grinned. Zach smiled, kissing his lips softly. “This day started out as complete shit and now I’ve got you back. I’m so happy.”

“So am I.”


	10. Things You Said When We Were On Top Of The World

Zach held his phone in front of his face as he lay on the floor, holding the record button as Frankie danced above him. He watched his own hand reach up and grab at Frankie’s crotch before dropping back down. Frankie swivelled his hips and stared down at him seductively, then moved one of his legs to position himself above Zach’s face, grinding down momentarily and then returning to his previous position. Zach recorded for a couple more seconds and then quickly added the video to his Snapchat story and dropped his phone to his side.

Break Free was still blaring around them, but all Zach could focus on was the way Frankie’s hips were swaying as he stood straddling Zach’s hips and the look on his face as he peered down at him. Zach was pretty sure they were both more than a little buzzed, having had lots to drink in celebration of the end of Frankie’s solo show and Frankie’s birthday in a couple days. Despite the fact that a dozen of Frankie’s friends and Zach’s friend AJ were also in the apartment celebrating with them, they had pretty much only been focusing on each other since they got here.

Zach reached his arm up to Frankie, smiling as Frankie laced their fingers together. He tugged downwards, wanting Frankie to come down to his level. Frankie grinned, settling himself down to straddle Zach’s lap, his knees pressed against the floor. He put his cup down next to them after draining the last big sip and continued his dancing. Zach groaned, the friction rubbing against his groin now that Frankie was sitting in his lap instead of standing above him. 

He wrapped his arms around Frankie’s waist and pulled him down further to press their chests together, their mouths barely an inch apart.

“As much as I love how good that feels, it’s going to get really embarrassing really quickly in front of your friends if you keep that up,” he said into Frankie’s ear.

Frankie grinned, kissing Zach’s neck and pushing their hips together. “Are you saying I could make you come in your pants right now if I wanted to?”

“It’s a strong possibility. You’re just so sexy.” He squeezed Frankie’s ass, winking at him. He leaned up, brushing their lips together. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He tangled his hands in Zach’s hair, scratching his scalp lightly. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

Zach hummed, leaning into his touch. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He twisted his head to press his lips against Frankie’s arm. “Except maybe your bed with your dick inside me instead of the hard floor killing my back.”

Frankie laughed loudly as the music quieted down between songs long enough for the people around them to hear what Zach said.

Zach groaned, rolling his eyes. “Whatever! You all knew what was going to happen as soon as you leave anyway!”

Frankie giggled, bringing their lips back together in a heated kiss. “I feel like I’m on top of the world right now. This is the best birthday ever.”

“I’ll feel better when everyone’s gone and you’re fucking me into your mattress.” He trailed his hands along Frankie’s body, keeping him pressed against him as much as possible.

“Mmm, I’ll feel better then, too.” He nipped at Zach’s neck. “Everything’s perfect. You make me so happy. I’m so lucky.”

Zach shook his head. “I’m the lucky one.” He kissed Frankie gently. “Seriously. I love you so much. Happy early birthday, babe.”


	11. Things You Said After You Kissed Me

Zach tapped his fingers on the arm of the patio chair impatiently as the rest of the houseguests discussed who they thought would be entering Jury with them today.

He lifted a hand to his mouth, biting at his fingernails in boredom. “I hope it’s Derrick,” he said. “Or Caleb.”

“It won’t be Derrick,” Nicole said. “He’s too good. It’ll probably be Caleb.”

He hoped so. At least he could kind of tolerate Caleb. It’d be better than being stuck with Victoria.

They had to wait another 20 minutes before they were being ushered into a standing group to wait for whoever was evicted. It was another few minutes before they heard footsteps walking through the house towards the backyard door. It took all of three seconds for Zach to register the pink mohawk and let out his loud trademark gasp.

“No!” Zach exclaimed. He hadn’t even entertained the idea of Frankie being the one to walk through the door. And yet there he was, locking eyes with Zach and giving him a soft smile. 

He couldn’t help but to smile back, thinking to himself how Frankie was just as gorgeous now as he was when they’d first met several months ago. Zach’s smile gave Frankie encouragement, and he went from standing by the door to running and tackling Zach, his arms looped around Zach’s neck tightly. Zach giggled, catching Frankie and hoisting his legs around Zach’s waist. He felt Frankie bury his face in Zach’s neck, his breath tickling him and raising goosebumps against his skin.

“I’m sorry,” Frankie mumbled. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”

Zach giggled, his heart feeling light and happy for the first time in weeks. “I love you too,” he said quietly, squeezing Frankie’s sides.

**

After the typical “welcome to Jury” schtick where they watched how Frankie’s eviction came to be -- Zach and Frankie refusing to separate and sitting squeezed together on a small loveseat -- Zach showed Frankie around the house briefly, eventually leading them to Zach’s room and closing the door behind them.

Frankie plopped down on Zach’s bed and made grabby hands at him, silently asking him to come cuddle. Zach giggled and crawled onto the bed, curling right into Frankie’s side. Frankie wrapped an arm around his shoulders, trailing his fingers up and down Zach’s back between his shoulderblades.

They sat in silence for a little while, just processing the fact that they were together again. Frankie grabbed his free hand in his own and laced their fingers together. Zach felt his heart lurch, having forgotten how perfect their hands fit together. He turned his head into Frankie’s neck to hide how warm his face felt and pressed a kiss below his ear.

Frankie kissed his head gently. “Did you miss me?”

Zach scoffed. “Of course I missed you, Rose. How could I not?” He paused for a moment. “Even though I missed you, though, I was kinda sad to see you walk through the door. I really wanted you to win.”

Frankie grinned, turning to cuddle closer to Zach. “I did too. Would’ve given you incentive to be my boyfriend,” he teased.

Zach giggled and rolled his eyes. “I don’t need incentive.”

He reached his hand up, brushing his thumb against Zach’s cheek. “No?”

Zach felt nerves flood his stomach, but he shook his head, maintaining eye contact with Frankie. He bit his lip as Frankie continued sliding his thumb back and forth on Zach’s skin, letting him process his thoughts.

He took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to close the small space between them, pressing his lips against Frankie’s in their first kiss. Frankie sighed happily, opening his mouth slightly and returning the kiss.

There was this energy flowing between them that had always been there, but was now being provided an outlet in their lips brushing together in slow strokes. Frankie licked at Zach’s bottom lip, and he felt completely overwhelmed at the fact that he was finally kissing Frankie. If asked, he’d probably say it was the best kiss he’d ever had, and it scared him a little how much better everything always was with Frankie.

They broke for air a few minutes later, and Zach admired how wet and red Frankie’s lips looked, smiling at the fact that he’d caused it. Frankie smiled at him knowingly and Zach giggled, burying his face in Frankie’s neck once more.

Frankie ran his hand through Zach’s hair, occasionally rubbing his ear comfortingly. Zach closed his eyes, humming softly to himself. 

“Is it bad how happy I was to see you, even if it meant you didn’t win? Cause I really fucking missed you.”

Frankie smiled, shaking his head. “I’d lose a thousand times to keep reliving this moment.” Zach smiled brightly, holding Frankie closer to him.

He slid his hand back into Frankie’s, fitting their fingers between each other slowly and holding on. He allowed himself to peak up at Frankie, who was watching him carefully.

“I’m still completely in love with you,” Zach said. “I can’t explain it. But I’m so attracted to you, and so in love with you, and it’s really confusing.”

Frankie nodded, pressing a kiss against his forehead. “I know. It’s okay. You don’t have to figure it all out right now.” He made sure Zach was still looking at him, leaning their heads together. “I’m still in love with you too. Always will be.”


	12. Things You Said When You Were Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I didn't really know what to write for this, but I wrote something anyway.

Zach took a deep breath as he stepped onto the plane, getting nervous at the impending flight. His muscles felt tense, but he felt a little better after feeling Frankie’s hand slide into his as they walked down the plane aisle.

They got to their seats and put their carry-ons into the overhead compartment, then sat down. Zach immediately buckled his seatbelt, tightening it as much as he could while still being able to breathe. 

Frankie gave him a sympathetic smile, reaching over to hold Zach’s hand again. “You’re alright, love. We haven’t even left yet.”

He exhaled heavily. “I hate flying.”

“I know.” He lifted Zach’s hand to his lips, kissing the back gently. “Just hold my hand.”

**

Zach squeezed Frankie’s hand tightly, closing his eyes as the turbulence shook the plane. Frankie winced a little but squeezed back, reaching his free hand over to rest on Zach’s forearm comfortingly. He leaned closer into Zach’s space, as much as he could with his seatbelt still buckled.

“Zach, you’ve gotta breathe, honey. It’ll be over soon.”

Zach clenched his jaw. “There’s still another hour left,” he forced out.

Frankie pressed his forehead against Zach’s neck. He kissed his skin and nuzzled into him. “What do you want me to do, baby? How can I help?”

“Just...just distract me. Please. Fuck I hate planes.” He squeezed Frankie’s hand again as the plane rattled.

“Okay,” Frankie said. He reached up to tilt Zach’s face towards his, making Zach look him in the eye. “Don’t think about the plane, alright? Just think about LA. We’re gonna go relax for a few days before we’re sequestered, and then we’ll unfortunately have to be apart for a little bit, but then we’ll be back in the House, and we’re going to take over and win. We’ve got a plan, we trust each other a hundred percent, and we’re not gonna let anyone else get in the way, right?”

Zach nodded, smiling a little. “Yea. Zankie straight to the top, no question.”

Frankie smirked, giving him a kiss on the lips. “Maybe not so _straight_ to the top,” he teased.

Zach giggled, accepting another kiss from Frankie. He temporarily managed to forget about the plane until a strong bout of turbulence hit the plane, making Zach’s stomach drop. “You know I love you, right?” Zach asked.

Frankie just barely managed not to roll his eyes at Zach’s dramatics, knowing he couldn’t help it. “We’re not going to die on the plane, Rose.”

“Frankie,” Zach whined. “I just need you to know. Just in case.”

He shook his head playfully, pulling Zach into a long kiss. When he pulled back, he smiled at Zach as he played with his ear. “I do know, Zach. I love you too. Always.” Zach’s answering grin was enough to make Frankie’s heart skip. “I know you’re scared, love, but I promise everything will be fine. We’ll be in LA before you know it. Why don’t you put your headphones in and try listening to something for the rest of the way?”

Zach nodded. “I can still hold your hand?” he asked, nerves still evident in his voice.

Frankie offered him his hand. “You better.”


	13. Things You Said When You Were Drunk

Zach had managed to make it to Saturday. He’d been in Colorado with Josh and his friends since Thursday for Josh’s bachelor party, and by some miracle, he hadn’t managed to do anything too stupid yet. They spent the first day getting high and bar hopping, then spent the whole day Friday snowboarding, which Zach had hated because he couldn’t do it, and then spent the night once again getting high and drinking. Saturday was their last full day there, and Zach was starting to think maybe he’d make the entire weekend without making an idiot out of himself. He hasn’t even been streaming that much to avoid saying something stupid while too stoned or drunk to have his already faulty verbal filter working.

So of course it shouldn’t have surprised him when he was three sheets to the wind at some strip club in town for the official bachelor party and couldn’t even enjoy the mostly naked women dancing on the pole in front of him. He tried, and it had worked for a little while. But then he found himself comparing their bodies to the very not-female body of Frankie, who had been posting shirtless pictures on instagram all week, but had posted at least a couple more right before Zach and the other guys had arrived at the strip club. It was easier to enjoy the women taking their clothes off when he’d been sober. Now, with a stomach full of alcohol and some barely dressed woman putting her arm around his shoulders and asking if he needed another drink, he just kept thinking how wrong it all felt. He wasn’t into them, he had no real desire to touch them, and a gradually increasing part of him kept wishing for short multicolored hair, scratchy stubble, and a firm muscled chest and abs standing beside him, instead of the long bleached blonde hair and soft body that was swaying her hips on stage.

He slurred out something about using the bathroom and stumbled his way through a crowd of middle aged men staring at the women who were probably young enough to be their daughters towards the back of the club. The line to the bathroom was a little long, and he found himself walking outside into the cold Colorado air. There was a layer of snow on the ground, and a slight flurry falling from the sky. 

He was apparently still sober enough to use his phone, because he managed to unlock it, open up his contacts list, scroll down to Frankie’s name, click it, and press call without even consciously thinking about it. He held the phone to his ear, listening to it ring as he stared up at the dark sky, snowflakes falling on his face.

Even drunk, he still felt the sting of rejection as the call was sent to Frankie’s voicemail. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d heard Frankie’s voice actually talking to him, instead of some voicemail recording or a YouTube video he found himself watching in the middle of the night. Normally he’d just hang up and pretend Frankie was busy and would call Zach back later. Tonight, he waited for the beep that told him he could record a message and started speaking.

“Hey. S’me.” He paused for a moment, a snowflake landing in his eye. “It’s snowing in Colorado. Makes everything seem so quiet.”

He sat down clumsily on the curb. “D’you remember when it snowed on your birthday? I made AJ walk me to your place at like one in the morning, and we sat on the balcony, and you held my hand. Everything was perfect. Our last perfect day.”

Zach felt his eyes fill with tears and swore at the fact that he couldn’t control his emotions after drinking for the last few hours. He rested his head heavily on his knees and sniffled.

“I don’t know how I fucked this up so badly, Frankie.” He sighed shakily, gripping his phone tighter in his hand. “I know you don’t love me anymore, and I can’t even blame you. The only thing I’m ‘parently really good at is ruining any chance I have with you. M’not good enough for you. You were so smart to break up with me. You're always _so smart_.”

He twisted his hair in his fingers, pulling on it as he tried to control the waver in his voice. “I can’t even enjoy Josh’s bachelor party, ‘cause I can’t stop thinking about you. He’s so excited to marry Jamie, and all I can think about is how if I had been good enough for you, I could be marrying you. You're the only person I've ever thought about marrying. Fuck, I'm so in love with you.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head and trying to clear his thoughts. “I shouldn't have called. I’m sorry.” He wiped his eyes roughly, clearing away the tears that had gathered. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He hung up the phone and leaned his head back with his eyes closed, letting the cold snow cool down his face. He could almost feel Frankie’s hand tangled with his as they watched the snow fall from Frankie’s balcony. He remembered whispering ‘happy birthday’ against Frankie’s lips and feeling him smile before they kissed.

Now that’s all he had - a million memories and unanswered phone calls. And there was nothing he could do to change it.

He stayed on the curb until the only thing left that wasn't numb was the ache in his heart when another thought of Frankie would cross his mind, then went back inside, plastering a smile on his face to support Josh while they celebrated the fact that he got to marry the person he was in love with.


	14. Things You Said With No Space Between Us

“No.”

“Zach-”

“ _No_ , Frankie. I’m not doing it.”

Frankie sighed. “Zach, it’s to protect us. Everyone’s going to know we’re in an alliance together. But if we don’t hang out alone-”

“You can’t ask me to do that, Frankie. You can’t ask me not to hang out with you. That’s not fair.”

Frankie sat up a little on the HOH bed. “Zach. Think about it. It’s obvious that we’d work together. They’re going to target us.”

Zach shook his head. “I don’t care. We’re better when we’re together.”

He groaned, plopping backwards into the pillows. Zach followed, resting his chin on Frankie’s chest and pressing close to him. Frankie felt the connection along their bodies and couldn’t help but to lean into it. “You never think things through,” he whispered.

“I am thinking this through,” Zach whispered back. “And I’m thinking that being in this house together is the first time I’ve gotten to spend time with you in over six months. I’m thinking that I’ve missed you. And I’m thinking that I’d rather work with you and be a bigger target than spend the next three months being in the same house but not being allowed to hang out with you.”

“Why is this so important to you? You said before you’d do anything to win this game,” Frankie said. 

“And I would. But let’s be real, Frankie, I’m not going to win. And whether or not we hang out together, everyone’s still going to think we’re working together. So I’d rather just be with you and enjoy it while I can instead of pretending and having to avoid you.” He picked at Frankie’s shirt for a moment and pressed himself closer to him. “This was supposed to be our chance. Being locked in this house again, away from friends and family and fans and responsibilities, this was supposed to be our chance to reconnect.”

Frankie’s face softened and he ran his hand along Zach’s back. “I want to reconnect too, Zach. But I’ve told you, I can’t do the back and forth thing anymore. I need commitment; I can’t deal with you changing your mind over and over again.”

Zach brushed his thumb along Frankie’s shoulder. “I’m not changing my mind.” He scooted himself up the bed a little so their faces were even. “It’s been 2 years since we met. And every time I see you, I love you just as much as the last time. That sounds so cheesy and lame, but it’s true.”

He smiled a little. “You’re so cute sometimes.” 

Zach tangled their legs together, getting more comfortable. “Frankie. Please don’t try to keep your distance from me this summer. I just want us to be us again.”

Frankie rubbed his ear lightly. “I want to…”

Zach bit his lip and glanced up at one of the cameras in the room. He looked back at Frankie and took a deep breath. He closed the gap between them, kissing Frankie briefly and then pulling back at look at him nervously.

Frankie stuck his bottom lip out a little and wrapped his arms around Zach. “You can’t take that back. That’s going to be everywhere in seconds. You can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”

“Good. I don’t want to.” He studied Frankie’s face, their lips barely an inch apart. “I love you, Frankie. I just want you back in my life. I don’t care who knows. I just want us.”

Frankie tugged on the hair at the back of his neck a little. “I’m never getting over you, am I?”

Zach looked at him with puppy dog eyes. “I hope not."


	15. Things You Said Over The Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween 2015

Zach pouted cutely at his phone. “I miss you.”

Frankie grinned. “I miss you too, my love. I wish you were here.”

“Me too.”

He pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it in the pile of clothes on the other side of the room. He dropped his pants and kicked them to the side, giggling as Frankie hummed appreciatively at the sight.

“I’m liking where this is going,” Frankie teased. Zach rolled his eyes and blushed, grabbing a pair of shorts off his bed.

“You know I’d love that, especially after how shitty this week has been, but I’ve gotta leave for AJ’s soon.” He stepped into the shorts, pulling them up to rest on his hips.

Frankie smiled. “I’m glad AJ came to town. It’ll be good for you to hang out with him this weekend.”

“Yea, well...at least I know AJ won’t look at me like I’m dysfunctional when I’m checking your Snapchat all night.” Frankie’s face softened.

“Well as far as your friends go, I am partial to AJ,” he mused. “Tell him I say hello.”

Zach nodded. “Of course. He was kinda bummed Zankieween wasn’t happening this year. He hasn’t seen you since, like, January.”

“Every day is Zankieween!” Frankie corrected. “There’s just no party to celebrate.”

Zach smiled softly, throwing a tank top on, then grabbing his kangaroo onesie and stepping into it. He put the hood over his head, making Frankie smile. Zach grabbed his phone off the tripod and sat down on his bed, sighing softly. “I wish I didn’t have to go so I could keep talking to you.”

“Hey,” Frankie said gently. “Text me whenever you want, okay? And I’ll answer when I can, just like last night. But I want you to have fun too, okay?”

He nodded, smiling. “Okay.”

“You are actually the cutest person on the planet. I love that costume. I could just stare at you all night.” 

Zach blushed. “Stahhhp. It’s not even nearly as cool as whatever you’re going to be tonight.”

He winked. “You’ll see soon. I’ll Snapchat you some pictures while I’m getting ready,” he promised. “What’s AJ being, anyway?”

Zach laughed loudly. “Uh, he’s basically being Franz.” Frankie raised his eyebrows at him and opened his mouth, but Zach spoke first. “I’ll snapchat his costume when I get to his place. He texted me a picture of it earlier, and it’s hilarious.”

Frankie laughed. “Well I look forward to seeing it.”

“Speaking of, though...I should probably head out.”

He saw the small pout growing on Zach’s face and wished he could be there to wrap his arms around Zach and cuddle him until the frown went away completely. “Have fun, honey. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Zach said, quickly going from frowning to having heart eyes. “Have fun at all your parties. Don’t go anything I wouldn’t do,” he half joked.

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” he replied mockingly. Zach flipped him off playfully, making Frankie chuckle. “I’ll text you later. Happy Zankieween.”

Zach met his eyes, giggling happily. “Happy Zankieween.”


	16. Things You Said When I Was Crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a dream about them I had back in August and wrote down a quote from it in my phone.

“Hi honey. I can’t talk right now, can I call you back later?” Frankie asked, answering Zach’s phone call. 

Zach exhaled heavily, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning his head against his steering wheel. “Oh. Y-yea. Sure, sorry.”

There was a pause across the line, some shuffling, and then Frankie’s voice was in his ear again. “Hey, what’s going on? Have you been crying? What happened?”

He shook his head, despite knowing Frankie couldn’t see him. “I’m fine,” he lied. “You’re busy, it’s fine. I’ll talk to you later.” He couldn’t control from the way his voice cracked at the end, telling Frankie all he needed to know.

“Zach,” he said softly. “Baby, tell me what happened. Why are you crying?”

“I…” Zach sniffled, reaching up to wipe his eyes. “They cancelled on Thanksgiving in Long Island.”

Frankie furrowed his eyebrows together. “What? Why?”

He leaned back in his seat, staring up at the sky through his sunroof. “They claimed it’s because we just saw the family there last month for Josh’s wedding. But...they knew I was planning on seeing you, on going to Manhattan right after we had Thanksgiving lunch so I could eat with you guys and stay with you.”

Frankie clenched his jaw. “So they figured not coming at all would stop you from seeing me? Seriously?”

Zach felt tears flooding his eyes again and took a shaky breath. “I told them I’d just fly to New York by myself. Skip Thanksgiving with them and be with you instead. They weren’t happy. Obviously.” He couldn’t stop the small sob that escaped his mouth. “They… _fuck_ , they told me if I did, I shouldn’t come back. That they wouldn’t let me see Peyton anymore.”

Frankie felt his heart breaking as Zach cried on the phone with him, wanting nothing more than to wrap him in his arms and protect him from anything bad that could happen to him. “Zach, baby, I need you to breathe, okay? Take a deep breath for me. It’s okay, I’m right here. Just breathe.”

“I don’t know what to do,” he croaked. “H-how do I just leave Peyton?”

“I don’t know, honey. I…” Frankie sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Look, it’s okay. I’ll be in Florida for Christmas. It’s just another month. We can wait one more month. It’s fine. It’ll be okay.”

He wasn’t really sure which one of them he was trying to convince, but he now felt as down as Zach did. They both had been looking forward to spending Thanksgiving together, continuously talking about all the cuddling and kissing and sex and just normal quality time they’d fit into the weekend. Now Frankie had to brace himself for another month without Zach.

“Frankie,” Zach said, interrupting his thoughts. “I’m coming to New York. I already booked my ticket.” He still sounded like he’d been crying or would possibly cry some more, but he also sounded like his mind was made up, and Frankie felt more confused than ever.

“Zach...I can’t ask you to choose me over your family.”

Zach was silent for a couple minutes, and Frankie was sure he’d change his mind and stay in Florida with Peyton and his parents. He heard a few sniffles from Zach and once again felt the overwhelming urge to have his arms around Zach.

Zach cleared his throat and sniffed again. “I’m not,” he said firmly. “I’m choosing _me_ over my family.”

He felt a burst of pride for Zach. This conversation never could have happened a year ago. It was almost too much to handle. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t know how to leave Peyton. But I can’t...I can’t stay here. You would never ask me to choose you over them because you know how much I love them. But they know how much I love you, and they’re trying to force me to choose them. And I’ve let them do that for so fucking long, and I’m _sorry_ for that. I’m so sorry. I can’t keep…” he stopped, taking a deep breath and pushing the heel of his palm against his eye. “I deserve to be happy...don’t I?”

“Of course you do,” Frankie said softly. “You deserve everything.”

“I just want to be happy. And you make me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. I want to be with people who want me to be happy.” He started to get choked up, his throat feeling like it was nearly swollen shut. “I just, I don’t...why don’t they love me, Frankie? Why can’t they just…”

Zach broke off, and Frankie could hear the crying that Zach was trying to muffle. It felt like a knife twisting in his gut, knowing Zach was hurting so badly. “It’s not you, baby. It’s not you. You are perfect exactly the way that you are. I’m sorry that they can’t see that. They’re missing out on the amazing son they have. Listen to me, okay? Are you listening? You deserve all of the love and happiness in the world. I hate when you cry and I can’t cuddle with you and make you feel better. Come to New York. And I will spend the rest of my life giving you all of the love you should have been getting all along.”

Zach wiped his eyes roughly, trying to regain the ability to see. “Frankie...I’m a mess.”

“You’re _my_ mess. And I love you. Come here.”


	17. Things You Said Through Your Teeth

“Frankie, c’mon,” Zach begged.

He sighed. “Zach, I can’t. I have to be in LA. You know that.”

“You were in LA all year! Can’t you just take some time off and be in Florida with me for a couple weeks?”

“Honey, I’m with you right now,” Frankie said, grabbing Zach’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

Zach pulled his hand away and stood up, pacing the room slowly. “So, what, I have to deal with another year of seeing you for a couple days at a time every three months?”

“It’s _work_ , Zach. I’m trying to build my career. I can’t stay in Florida. There’s nothing for me here.”

Zach stopped short, turning to face him. “So I’m nothing?”

Frankie gave him a look. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Isn’t it? I mean, really, how many times have we seen each other in the last year? Less than a dozen?” 

Frankie frowned, standing up to stand in front of Zach. “I don’t know what you want me to say here. You’ve known since we met that I wanted to grow my career. And you’ve always been supportive of that. I don’t know why this is suddenly a problem.”

Zach clenched his jaw as Frankie spoke, averting his eyes to look out the window. “I shouldn’t have to -- I’m not holding auditions to get your attention. You wanted to be my boyfriend; _be_ my fucking boyfriend.”

Frankie barely managed not to roll his eyes dramatically, instead choosing to cross his arms over his chest. “Oh grow up Zach.”

“I _have_. Not that you’d notice unless you had a script for it sitting in front of you,” he snapped. “You need to do some growing up too, you know.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You keep complaining about how we haven’t moved forward in our relationship, but you’re not doing anything to help it move, either. You just want me to make all the changes -- give up my friends and my family and my whole life here and move across the country to be with you -- while you get to keep your life exactly the way it is. Maybe if you’d settle down in one place and spend more time with me, we wouldn’t be stuck having the same stupid argument at least three times a year.”

Frankie paused, waiting until Zach’s eyes met his again. “I’m not giving up my career.”

“I’m not _asking_ you to,” Zach stressed, trying to get through to him. “I love your career, and I love watching you do all these different things all the time. But, god, I’m trying to spend more time with you, and you’re literally running in the other direction.”

Zach’s voice cracked halfway through, and Frankie couldn’t help the way his face softened and he dropped his arms from his chest, stepping forward to wrap them around Zach instead. “Zach,” he said softly. “I’m not running. I’m…okay, look. The rest of this month is full for me. I have a lot of meetings and auditions and things to go to that I _can’t_ cancel on.”

“Of course not,” Zach said sarcastically.

Frankie pursed his lips. “But,” he continued. “If you need me to be more constant...I will tell my manager to keep me more free next month.”

Zach absorbed what he said, hope appearing in his eyes. “You will?” 

He nodded. “That doesn’t mean I’m cutting back completely. I still have to work. But I’ll slow down a little if it means you’re willing to take the next step in our relationship with me.”

Zach bit his lip, holding back a smile. Frankie thought Zach looked like a little puppy being given a treat, making him melt a little. “Yea,” Zach said. “I’d like that.”


	18. Things You Said When We Were Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during AS2

Zach settled into the HOH bed next to Frankie, pulling the blankets over himself. He stared at the monitor across the room, showing the rest of the houseguests in the kitchen downstairs.

Things had been tense since they got back to the Big Brother house for All Stars, as they tried not to attract too much attention to themselves and get nominated for eviction. They were only a couple weeks into the game, but they'd barely had a moment to themselves since they walked into the house. Now that Frankie was HOH, Zach finally had a minute to sit down with him alone.

Frankie smiled at him, leaning his head on Zach’s shoulder. “Hi _baby_. I’m so glad you managed to get away.”

Zach smiled back at him, taking his hand in his. “Everyone’s a little tipsy, so it wasn’t that hard.”

“Alcohol is a good distraction,” Frankie said. “They should drink all the time so we can have our cuddle time without them getting suspicious.”

He giggled, shifting closer to Frankie beneath the covers. “Luckily you’re HOH, so no one can really say much.” He traced his thumb back and forth over the tattoo on the back of Frankie’s hand. “Do you know who you’re going to nominate yet?”

Frankie shrugged, then batted his eyelashes at him. “I figured I’d just backdoor you this week.”

Zach squirmed as Frankie’s free hand started travelling up between his legs. “Frankie!” he giggled loudly. “No, no backdoor.”

“But it’s in the way you really like,” he teased, pushing Zach back into the pillows and attacking his neck with kisses.

“Not on _camera_ ,” Zach laughed. “Oh my god, Frankie, you’re making me hard.”

“You should be used to that by now.” He nipped at Zach’s ear and rolled off of him, letting him breathe.

Zach took his hand back, lacing their fingers together easily. He watched his thumb move across the words ‘ _I must not tell lies_ ’ on Frankie’s skin over and over again. He looked up at Frankie, seeing Frankie already watching him. He blushed a little, but maintained eye contact as he pressed his thumb more firmly against the tattoo.

“I love you.”

Frankie smiled brightly, scooting closer to Zach so he could nuzzle into his neck. “I love you too.” He kissed Zach’s neck softly. “I would never lie to you about that. Tattoo or no tattoo. You know that.”

Zach nodded, resting their joined hands against his chest. “I know.”


	19. Things You Said At The Kitchen Table

“So what do you think?” Frankie asked, rinsing his hands under the kitchen faucet.

Zach shrugged, pulling a couple plates out of the cabinet. “I’d rather stay here, I think.”

“Really? I thought you’d jump at the chance to spend some time back in Florida.” He pressed a kiss against Zach’s cheek and took the plates from him, bringing them over to the table.

“I know, I’m just...I don’t know. I guess I just don’t really want to deal with everything and everyone in Florida. I’m just getting used to living in New York, y’know? This is our home. I’d rather we celebrate here.”

Frankie looked thoughtful for a moment, walking back over to grab their dinner out of the oven. He placed it on top of the stove and looked back at Zach. “There’s not really a big chance of your family flying up here for Thanksgiving, though. At least if we were down there, we could pop in, have a little food, show how happy we are and all that.”

Zach sighed. “I can’t think about all that, Frankie.” He brought some silverware over to the table and sat down, waiting for Frankie to bring the food over. Frankie watched him for a moment and picked up the tray, carrying it over to the table.

Instead of taking his own seat, he sat down sideways on Zach’s lap, draping an arm over his shoulders. “I just know that you miss them, and you miss Florida. And even though things have been...tentative with them since we came off Big Brother again and you told them you were moving in with me, you still love them.”

“Of course I do. But this isn’t about them. Look, they’ll be fine, and I’ll be fine if we stay here. This is our first Thanksgiving as, like, an actual forreal couple, y’know? I don’t want it to be awkward being around my family. I just want us to be happy and celebrate with your family and friends up here and just to spend time with you.” 

Frankie melted a little, seeing Zach’s smile on his face looking up at him. He smiled back at him and leaned down, kissing him softly. Zach giggled into the kiss and squeezed Frankie’s side playfully. Frankie sighed happily, leaning their foreheads together and letting them sit in silence for a few moments.

“I really love you,” he eventually whispered, nudging his nose against Zach’s. “Like, an unbelievable amount. So much my heart feels like it could explode.”

Zach giggled again, leaning into Frankie some more. “I love you way more. Don’t even try to argue, cause you’ll never win.”

Frankie rolled his eyes and ruffled Zach’s hair affectionately. “You’re a lunatic,” he said sweetly. Zach beamed at the familiar term of endearment, and Frankie once again felt that near-explosion resting right in his chest, something he was sure was a permanent symptom of being in love with Zach Rance.


	20. Things You Said When It Was Permanent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love seeing you sleepy in the morning, it’s so sweet and gentle and domestic and it makes my heart sing

Frankie’s eyes opened slowly, making him groan as the sun shined through his window. He rolled over, immediately coming face to face with a sleeping Zach. He smiled and scooted closer to him, burying his face in Zach’s neck and breathing him in.

“Good morning,” he mumbled a few minutes later, feeling Zach start to wake up beside him.

Zach squinted his eyes open and gave a small smile in return. “Morning.”

Frankie trailed his fingers along Zach’s back slowly, content in the gentle silence of the morning. Zach yawned, curling into the warmth of Frankie’s body and laying a kiss on his shoulder. Frankie hummed. “You’re so sleepy.”

He nodded and wrapped his arms around Frankie’s waist. “Early. Tired. Keep tickling.”

Frankie’s heart fluttered in his chest, always affected by Zach being so cuddly and childlike in the mornings. He continued the pattern his hands were drawing on Zach’s skin, not stopping until Zach started to become more alert.

Zach grabbed one of Frankie’s hands, lacing their fingers together blindly and bringing it up to kiss the back of his hand softly. He eventually opened his eyes completely, giving him a wider smile. “Hi.”

“Hi baby,” he smiled back. “Welcome to the land of the living.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Shut up,” he said weakly. He squeezed Frankie’s hand, leaning his head on Frankie’s shoulder. “Love you.”

Frankie grinned. “Love you more.”

Zach shook his head. “Not possible. I love you too much for you to even come close to loving me more.”

He whined softly, pushing Zach onto his back and leaning over him, kissing him slowly. He carded his hand through Zach's hair, playing with the strands as their lips moved together.

“I'm so in love with you,” Frankie whispered after they broke their kiss. “You make it so easy.”

“I do?” Zach asked happily. He nodded his head in confirmation. “I’m so in love with you too.”

Frankie caressed the side of Zach’s face sweetly. “I know.” He pressed another kiss against Zach’s lips and then sat up. “Probably why we got married, huh?”

Zach giggled, watching Frankie get out of bed. “That could’ve had something to do with it.”

Frankie pulled a pair of underwear on, doing a little dance purely for Zach’s benefit. “Wanna take Tiger for a walk and we’ll stop for bagels and coffee?”

He pouted playfully. “I thought this was leading somewhere else.”

Frankie gave him a flirty look and reached out his hands for Zach to take. “Maybe if you’re a good boy on our walk, you can get a treat before we go out with AJ and Cody for lunch.”

Zach took his hands, pulling himself up and tugging Frankie closer to him. “I can be good.”

He hummed, tilting Zach’s chin up to kiss him once more. “I know you can.”

Zach looked pleased at that and held onto Frankie’s hips as he stood up from the bed. “Okay let’s go so we can get home.”

Frankie watched Zach get dressed and felt himself smiling fondly as he put on clothes from their closet, slipped on shoes from near their bedroom door, and grabbed the watch that Frankie had given him as an anniversary present when they were still dating off their dresser. It all felt very domestic, something Frankie was used to and yet still surprised by all the time. Zach still had the sleepy look on his face as he picked up his phone off the bedside table, and Frankie knew he would always be a sucker for that sleepy look. It reminded him of Big Brother days from long ago, cuddled up in a tiny bed as he started falling in love with him for the first time.

He shuffled over to Zach and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a long, gentle kiss. He leaned their foreheads together after, breathing in the moment before it could disappear.

“You’re still not dressed,” was all that Zach could think to say, his mind a little foggy from the early morning and drowning in Frankie’s kisses.

Frankie laughed, his heart fluttering once more in his chest. “I’ll be ready in a minute, my love.”

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate any and all comments/kudos/critique you are willing to give me. Thanks for taking the time to read this!
> 
> If you want to chat, you can find me on tumblr at [ be-your-own-anchor5](http://www.be-your-own-anchor5.tumblr.com)


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